10 steps to win the “Nice Chairs Battle” at Starbucks

My record time is 5 minutes!starbucks chair

1) Approach w/extreme eye contact
2) Sit at table directly beside nice chairs, and slightly angle your crappy wooden chair toward the nice chairs.
3) Make 1st initial verbal contact. “What’s up?”
4) Partially unpack your stuff and place your bookbag uncomfortably close to the nice chairs.
5) Make several germy sounds. Sniff, Cough, Sneeze, etc…
6) Make several small comments about the weather.
7) Pause for 60 seconds.
8) Begin talking about your favorite coffee blend and ask their favorite.

At this point, the person will vacate the nice chair in fear of being close to an invasive “chatty Cathy”.

9) Quickly move into the nice chair.

Return to step 3 if the second nice chair is occupied. If unoccupied continue to step 10.

10) SPREAD OUT… Claim the second chair with your bookbag, shoes, newspaper, etc… whatever it takes to prevent chair scavengers.

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